Everyone knows why everyone loves Chinese New Year. The little red packets, the gambling, the partying, the drinking, the food, the holiday and for the fact that you can finally be the total asshole that you are by indulging in batshit insane fashion sense, knowing that it’s the time of the year where no one gives a shit even if you walk on the streets dressed as The Flash, as the fashion vigilantes will be too busy watching 2 grown-ups maneuver a (fabricated) lion’s head.

Yes, everyone loves Chinese New Year. But let me tell you what do I loathe about this festival.

2010 will be the maiden year I impose resolutions on myself.

Unsurprisingly, it will also probably be the maiden year I break every single resolution and then hate myself for it. Here goes nothing.

I love attending weddings. Not so much for basking in the romantic sentiments the amorous video presentations or cheesy love songs provide, but because weddings are avenues for me to escape into a world of perfection. Weddings are the only time and place where everyone thinks that love is pure, everybody is beautiful, 98 Degree’s songs are brilliant, alcohol is cheap and farts are aromatic. Put Adolf Hitler into a wedding and he’ll come out being Mahatma Gandhi.

Let’s face it, we meet idiots every day.

The guy you shared the elevator with who reeked like he last took a shower during his christening. The cashier who returned your change soaked in shit-like remnants. The asshole who just couldn’t shut the hell up in the theatre. Or the salesperson who just wouldn’t let you walk away without killing someone.